After the year that was post, I'm proud to share with you now what the New Year is bringing in into my life.

Right after Tatay's 40days I applied for a job in the call center industry again. The very first and only job interview I had is with HSBC (Hongkong Shanghai Banking Corp.) Electronic Data Processing Phils, it was Jan 16 and everything happened on that day....initial interview, exams and another set of in-depth interviews while waiting for the results of each evaluation process. The interviews were tedious and long that I literally ran out of words and scenarios to prove to my interviewer that I am capable of the job but good thing I passed this stage. What a relief hearing that I got the job! just an entry level post but good enough to start from scratch and learn again from there. Besides, the pay is quite high compared to other call centers and they commensurate my salary based on my years of previous experience which is a big Yehey!:P

The completion of job requirements is much more tedious than my interviews. I had to complete everything within 10days for me to be able to sign the contract and start the training. I hate lining up for Government agencies like NBI, the system still sucks and I have to go all the way to Carriedo near Quiapo Church just to request for a new NBI Clearance and the process is still slow it takes 5 days for them to release the clearance since I also changed my marital status. I also lined up for the SSS Digitized ID at their main office in East Ave., yeah, I know, I know, I should have done this years ago but hey better to be late than never. HSBC asked a lot of documents as their pre-employment requirements, they even want to see your original birth cert, marriage cert, TOR, diplomas, licenses, passports etc. As some of you knows, all my original docs I took with me when I went to NY and I left everything there for security purposes. Now, poor sis she has to send all the docs to me again via courier, thanks Ate!:). They all arrived just in time before I passed all the requirements. Ok since my requirements are all complete, the HR revised the Job offer and I signed the contract and now I'm on board January 29, 2008 for the training. The benefits and allowances are really great, some of which is of course healthcard which can be used at once even if on probation with dependents, Rice Subsidy, Meal and Transpo allowance, Hazard pay (for night shifts), night differentials, HSBC credit cards, discounts in different establishments like gyms, spas etc.

I'm having the training here at PBCom Tower in Ayala Ave. Makati for 5wks then after here our account will be based in the new office building in Commonwealth, QC which is very near our place. The first week of training is more on the "English Only Policy" of the company. It will hone our communications skills since our job will entails a lot of talking to foreign customers over the phone. Then next week the Process training of the account we'll be handling. The training is fun and good to know I'm not the only one in my age bracket :P most of us are no longer neophytes in the call center industry and there are some who are a way much older and is also "complicated" when it comes to friendster status hehehe!:P I can't wait to know what the scope of our job will be and see the actual place where we will work our butts off.

There are a lot of things I need to do while I'm here in pinas....and slowly my plans are unfolding in front of me. I still think of my "complicated" status and I need to think fast and straight of what I really want in my life. What about my ex? we no longer communicate with each other and I'm also exploring my options for revenge....legally. My silence will not be that long....I need to speak up for myself and exercise my legal rights...we'll see.

For now, just enjoying the beautiful blessings God is giving me for the start of the year and blessings of Hope that Life is still indeed beautiful and worth fighting for :)

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I don't want to deal with the thought that the year 2007 was a very bad year for me. I prefer thinking that the past year was a challenging year not only for me but for my whole family. The blessings I received this year was overshadowed by the hurts and pains I felt for months. The passing of my father created more pain, feeling of loss and uncertainties in life whether to finally give up or move on. Everything is surreal, I feel like giving up....I feel that life is treating me so unfairly...I feel like everything conspired to make me feel miserable and endure so much pain. It made me question the Higher Power, letting him know I don't deserve this for I constantly keeping my faith and abide his rules. But it's wrong, I know it's wrong...that is this is just one moment in my life where I questioned Him which I should'nt have done in the first place. I even dared to asked Him to take me instead of my father, for the pain is too much and I'd rather die than continue to taste the bitterness of pain. An hour before the year ends, I locked myself in our room and prayed the rosary amidst the sounds of firecrakers, cheering of people outside and loud music....tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I say the Hail Marys...a simple cry turned into sobbing tears as my fingers jump from one rosary bead into another...I never prayed this hard in my life...asking God to bless my father's soul and comfort him to His Kingdom and laid him to a peaceful rest. I also talked to my father, letting him know how I love him and told him all my regrets and assuring him that I will try to be more strong and independent now that he's gone. I also asked Him, the blessing of Forgiveness...forgiveness to the one person I loved the most...the one person I vowed to spend the rest of my life with....it's very hard to forget the cause of the pain...to move on...I still don't know how to move on....how to overcome everything I've lost in 2007. I'm just trying to hide this from everyone...every smile...every laughter...behind that is a lonely spirit...a lonely soul...I feel like part of me had died with my father...I feel like a lost soul wandering in space and doesn't know where to go, can't tell if I can see the light again...I come to realize that in times of great sorrow...no words or hugs can heal a wounded soul.
But the never ending support and love of those people who read this blog made me feel I'm still alive...there's still hope...For in every uttered prayers by people who keeps on lifting me up sends a special message from God that everything will be alright...that tears will stop...the pain will be gone...that I will no longer be a lost soul for I will see the light in due time...that love and forgiveness will grow within me...that I will be whole again...completed with God's love and miracles. This year I know God has a special plan for me...bearing this on my mind....hoping and praying this year is special and the year that was...was just a year I had to pass.

To God be the Glory!

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