This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

Great news! the long search is over on finding ways to earn using my blog. I have been asking friends and been researching for any paid to blog sites that can help me earn extra income apart from my regular job. Then I just came across this site Social Spark and read a lot of information about the fun and easy way to earn from just blogging about certain products or information from Advertisers. If you have an existing blog like mine all you have to do is go to the site mentioned above and register your site. If you don't have an existing blog Social Spark can even teach you how to create one or go directly to this site I'm currently using which is Blogger. On the Social Spark site go click on the Sign up process and create a username, password and some information about you and your blog then voila! you are now part of the Social Spark circle and start earning. Signing up is pretty easy right?make sure you have to create a Paypal account to receive your earnings and that's pretty easy co'z it means more shopping credits for you guys. I've checked other paid blogging sites before, and the reason I didn't sign up with them is because their sign up process is not that easy, by the time I finished filling up all the required fields the page expires. Here at Social Sparks, I made mine in just a few minutes and I enjoyed describing myself and my blog in the sign up process.

To get to know more information on how to go around and enjoy their services kindly read their Code of Ethics. Can't wait to work with advertisers and blog their products and services, thanks to Social Spark! Let's keep the blog rolling!:)

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On the verge of making a decision that will put an end to my present career and venture into another one. I've been in my present company for quite some time now and so thankful for all the people here who made me realize that there is life after death, that laughing is yes the best medicine to put an end to such miseries. We do laugh a lot at work, co'z I've been surrounded by funny people who made serious situations always funny, as some of you may know, our job is soooo stressful that lately I've been really thinking if the stress I'm getting here is still worth it. What can I say, these people have played a very big role in my recovery period. It saddens me to think that I'll be leaving them soon, but I have to make another journey to improve myself and this has been an on-hold decision that should have materialized long ago. Now, it's time...enough with people distracting me with my goals, slowing me down to make that big leap....and done with all the dramas that complicates my life more, concentrate on people who truly cares and who does love me that much not to hurt me....again and again. I hate goodbyes...but I have to move forward. A lot has already happened for the past weeks and change is the only constant reminder that what has been will never be the same again. I need to make the decision now for time won't wait for me....but hoping that love will. Oh please guide me......

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Yes, the title of my post refers to the word my friend M used to describe me how I managed to breeze through life for almost three years now, on my own...as I was reading the comments here I came across her message and yes, this is the only time that word strucked me...I guess, during the time when she wrote it I was not really feeling pretty then, yeah I survived it but hey, talk about low self-esteem and confidence was all that is showing on my face then....and after more than 2years, I agree I became a pretty survivor *blushing*:)...and a lot has changed since then and people are noticing the difference lately, thank heavens it's over....but of course, not totally, for I know in time I'll be dealing with them again to legalize everything...but for the meantime, still enjoying life as it is.

I also noticed this blog was put on hold for quite a long time and it's time to squeeze out some of my thoughts lately....

Let's talk about my spiritual journey....this journey helped me so much in becoming the survivor that I am today and taught me to appreciate life more and the people who fought with me in battle.....I've learned that it's not easy to let go of bitterness....it's never easy even if people will say you can do it and just move on...I guess, those people who easily adviced these are most of the times hasn't experienced the same or almost the exact pain I went through....it's not the person anymore, it's about the wrong that they have done to you and feelings are no longer an issue....I became a warrior, trying to stand up in middle of battle scorned and bloodily bruised, holding on to one thing that I know will shield me from any more blows...and that is my Faith....I fell a couple of times during the recovery period....been distracted too by many factors that tested my beliefs and principles.....and I realized I am a woman in progress....a woman, who amidst the trials and failures still managed to become the person that I am today....still trying to do what is right, sacrificing the one thing that makes her happy....holding on to her little Bible that makes her constant companion in times of confusion.....I know I am still weak and confused.....still trying to understand why things happens to some people and struggling to be a better Christian....this is one journey that I know has no end....for finding spiritual growth is a lifetime to achieve, it takes time for one to mature spiritually....and the good thing about this journey is the Faith and committment that goes along with it...the promise of a lifetime bonding with God....and that what makes life complete :)

Below are the different looks of my cutey Bible :)

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*This is an article a friend shared to me that moved me and I wanna share this to you too*


Forgive, Forget...Move On


At some point in our lives, we have experienced hurt caused by someone dear to us. Although some have found a way to forgive but many of us are still trapped in brokenness and forgiveness seems to be their last resort; let alone cursing and wanting evil to happen to those people who have caused the hurting.

Stop living in brokenness...

Allow yourself to live a life of fullness and happiness. We may think that if we forgive them, it will only let them know that what they have done is acceptable and we don't hold them guilty anymore. Also, if we have forgiven them, they may see no wrong in what they did and continue hurting us.Some may see this true but this is a false thinking.

Yeah, I know it is never easy. It's easier said than done. It's hard to let go and move on with your life. But it's even harder to forgive, forget what happened and again, move on with your life..

We all have tried to forgive but at times we let our anger dictate our willingness to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean that you avoid or repress your feelings. On the contrary, it’s important that you acknowledge your pain and loss so that you can express your feelings, get them out into the light of day, and let them run a natural, healing course.Certainly others are to blame for their mistakes, but they are not to blame for our feelings. To forgive is to release another from being responsible for how we feel. By finding forgiveness, we are then free to let go of our pain. We may not forgive them now, but eventually, when the anger is gone, we will. However, that day will never come until we deal with ourselves first.

Better choose to live a happy life and not hate. When you choose not to forgive, you'll be overwhelmed by your negative emotions and you can't do anything about that state of emotion.Not only will you harbor resentment and bitterness, but your health will also be greatly affected. Why allow yourself to suffer these consequences when you deserve to live a more fulfilling and happier life after what you had gone through or are still going through?

Realizing that forgiveness is our own personal journey, we release expectations that others will respond to our deeds, even though each person’s healing has positive rippling effects.We don’t hold back. We gently swathe our pain with love. We allow thoughts and feelings to arise into awareness where they are recognized and permitted to pass on through.

When you forgive, you open a door that wasn't open before. This leads to a field of possibilities for a new kind of relationship with everyone. The healing of your hurts will take place and set you free from your emotional brokenness. This will lead you to a path of emotional freedom and receive untold peace and happiness.

"A winner reprimands and forgives; a loser is too timid to reprimand and too petty to forgive."

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I'm so proud of being a pinoy because of Filipinos like Efren Penaflorida....for giving his unconditional love and support for the youth of this generation....his inspiration and encouragements to these underpriviledged kids gives them hope that they can change the world...that this country is still a better place to live in...May the Lord continue to bless him as he steadfastly do His work....Let's vote for him kababayans!:)

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Meet our home bud "Benj" a male shih tzu doggie....my Uncle who passed away 3yrs ago bought him and is now my special cousin's best friend and Lola's guard....this dog is so protective of my special child cuz and of my grandma that whenever you tried to go near my grandma whenever he's near he will try to bite you, I've been a victim of him twice already and no one dares to go near Lola whenever he's beside her....we call him "snobbish dog", he's not too friendly to non-members of the house and even is not so friendly to us either he is only afraid of my other male cousin and our housemaid....but for the rest he doesn't like being cuddled...not your typical dog right?he is really weird hehehe! But one thing is for sure he loves being photographed....so here are snapshots of him posing for me ;)

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It took me two years to update the template of my blog...First, I'm busy and had really forgotten about this "On My Own" blog that I put up for the sole purpose of sharing my travel adventures in NY and my freedom from pain...I even noticed that I made a few drafts of some stories that I failed to share during my stay there like The Pennsylvannia Trip, Halloween NY Style and My Typical Day @ Ate's Place...those were all unfinished, and I'm not that keen anymore to share that as there are far more interesting topics to post for the next coming days...Don't worry, the NY adventure doesn't have an ending yet, as there will be more blogs about that in the near future...for now I'm excited to share the new look of my blog which is so Me and it gives the readers a glimpse of my personality...I'm still in the process of fixing some glitches and adding some features, hoping that my blog will have a polished look soon....I got so addicted to Facebook that I totally forgot that I have to blog co'z writing is a good therapy to release emotions and to broaden one's understanding of the world.

Now, I'm thinking of what topic to post next.......work?vacation?friends?or my family?.....let's see and check the personal archive of my life....:)

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Me and some friends watched ASAP Show yesterday...thanks to Phang for inviting me to tag along together with my other friend Dhana. T'was a fun and memorable experience for the three of us since it's our very first time to watch the ASAP Show. I've been to the ABS-CBN Studio years back and was able to enjoy watching one full episode of "Home Boy"(morning show of Boy Abunda a few years ago) and got a chance to tour around the studio's premises courtesy of our friend Dang, who works in the said network. We're just so lucky that this sunday's show was a special tribute for Michael Jackson and the video shows how amazing OPM artists were when it comes to singing! Who would imagine we would be able to watch The Company, Zsa Zsa Padilla, Sarah Geronimo, Gary Valenciano, Charice Pempengco and Lea Salonga in one special number?! Oh well, only in ASAP!;)

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Got a new toy to start blogging again and this time it's all mine yey!:) It's an Acer Aspire One notebook laptop, so small and yet so versatile just right for the on-the-go like me. Now, I'm busy transferring my files to my new buddy, hmmm have to think of a name for this new gadget. Finally, returning to my first passion before Facebook, so brace yourself...it's time to blog, blog, blog!;)

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It's been so long since my last post in this site....I've been very busy with work and enjoying every minute of life that God gave me. I'm so blessed co'z I'm surrounded with family and friends who continue to give meaning to my life. Met a lof of new and interesting people, travelled to different places and reconnected with relatives and old friends. Life is such a blessing....and I'm back with a lot of experiences and pictures to share :)

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After the year that was post, I'm proud to share with you now what the New Year is bringing in into my life.

Right after Tatay's 40days I applied for a job in the call center industry again. The very first and only job interview I had is with HSBC (Hongkong Shanghai Banking Corp.) Electronic Data Processing Phils, it was Jan 16 and everything happened on that day....initial interview, exams and another set of in-depth interviews while waiting for the results of each evaluation process. The interviews were tedious and long that I literally ran out of words and scenarios to prove to my interviewer that I am capable of the job but good thing I passed this stage. What a relief hearing that I got the job! just an entry level post but good enough to start from scratch and learn again from there. Besides, the pay is quite high compared to other call centers and they commensurate my salary based on my years of previous experience which is a big Yehey!:P

The completion of job requirements is much more tedious than my interviews. I had to complete everything within 10days for me to be able to sign the contract and start the training. I hate lining up for Government agencies like NBI, the system still sucks and I have to go all the way to Carriedo near Quiapo Church just to request for a new NBI Clearance and the process is still slow it takes 5 days for them to release the clearance since I also changed my marital status. I also lined up for the SSS Digitized ID at their main office in East Ave., yeah, I know, I know, I should have done this years ago but hey better to be late than never. HSBC asked a lot of documents as their pre-employment requirements, they even want to see your original birth cert, marriage cert, TOR, diplomas, licenses, passports etc. As some of you knows, all my original docs I took with me when I went to NY and I left everything there for security purposes. Now, poor sis she has to send all the docs to me again via courier, thanks Ate!:). They all arrived just in time before I passed all the requirements. Ok since my requirements are all complete, the HR revised the Job offer and I signed the contract and now I'm on board January 29, 2008 for the training. The benefits and allowances are really great, some of which is of course healthcard which can be used at once even if on probation with dependents, Rice Subsidy, Meal and Transpo allowance, Hazard pay (for night shifts), night differentials, HSBC credit cards, discounts in different establishments like gyms, spas etc.

I'm having the training here at PBCom Tower in Ayala Ave. Makati for 5wks then after here our account will be based in the new office building in Commonwealth, QC which is very near our place. The first week of training is more on the "English Only Policy" of the company. It will hone our communications skills since our job will entails a lot of talking to foreign customers over the phone. Then next week the Process training of the account we'll be handling. The training is fun and good to know I'm not the only one in my age bracket :P most of us are no longer neophytes in the call center industry and there are some who are a way much older and is also "complicated" when it comes to friendster status hehehe!:P I can't wait to know what the scope of our job will be and see the actual place where we will work our butts off.

There are a lot of things I need to do while I'm here in pinas....and slowly my plans are unfolding in front of me. I still think of my "complicated" status and I need to think fast and straight of what I really want in my life. What about my ex? we no longer communicate with each other and I'm also exploring my options for revenge....legally. My silence will not be that long....I need to speak up for myself and exercise my legal rights...we'll see.

For now, just enjoying the beautiful blessings God is giving me for the start of the year and blessings of Hope that Life is still indeed beautiful and worth fighting for :)

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I don't want to deal with the thought that the year 2007 was a very bad year for me. I prefer thinking that the past year was a challenging year not only for me but for my whole family. The blessings I received this year was overshadowed by the hurts and pains I felt for months. The passing of my father created more pain, feeling of loss and uncertainties in life whether to finally give up or move on. Everything is surreal, I feel like giving up....I feel that life is treating me so unfairly...I feel like everything conspired to make me feel miserable and endure so much pain. It made me question the Higher Power, letting him know I don't deserve this for I constantly keeping my faith and abide his rules. But it's wrong, I know it's wrong...that is this is just one moment in my life where I questioned Him which I should'nt have done in the first place. I even dared to asked Him to take me instead of my father, for the pain is too much and I'd rather die than continue to taste the bitterness of pain. An hour before the year ends, I locked myself in our room and prayed the rosary amidst the sounds of firecrakers, cheering of people outside and loud music....tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I say the Hail Marys...a simple cry turned into sobbing tears as my fingers jump from one rosary bead into another...I never prayed this hard in my life...asking God to bless my father's soul and comfort him to His Kingdom and laid him to a peaceful rest. I also talked to my father, letting him know how I love him and told him all my regrets and assuring him that I will try to be more strong and independent now that he's gone. I also asked Him, the blessing of Forgiveness...forgiveness to the one person I loved the most...the one person I vowed to spend the rest of my life with....it's very hard to forget the cause of the pain...to move on...I still don't know how to move on....how to overcome everything I've lost in 2007. I'm just trying to hide this from everyone...every smile...every laughter...behind that is a lonely spirit...a lonely soul...I feel like part of me had died with my father...I feel like a lost soul wandering in space and doesn't know where to go, can't tell if I can see the light again...I come to realize that in times of great sorrow...no words or hugs can heal a wounded soul.
But the never ending support and love of those people who read this blog made me feel I'm still alive...there's still hope...For in every uttered prayers by people who keeps on lifting me up sends a special message from God that everything will be alright...that tears will stop...the pain will be gone...that I will no longer be a lost soul for I will see the light in due time...that love and forgiveness will grow within me...that I will be whole again...completed with God's love and miracles. This year I know God has a special plan for me...bearing this on my mind....hoping and praying this year is special and the year that was...was just a year I had to pass.

To God be the Glory!

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I had my very first Flu Shot last night. Here in the US, Americans are nuts about getting this flu shots esp when winter comes. They remind everyone to have one...in the news, commercials and you can hear people asking each other if they already got their shot this year. They said its Flu season once again, my sister insisted I got one too for protection since I'm not really used to very cold weather like I'm beginning to experience now. Yeah, it's really cold now I even wear my sweatshirt inside the house. But I love the coldness on my face, I love the scent of air, its feels fresh. It is usually colder in Manhattan area co'z it's near the bay so whenever I go there on commute I make sure I wear really thick clothes otherwise I won't endure the cool breeze. :)

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Last month, had a chance again to go to Manhattan and see some other sights. First stop, the St. Patrick's Cathedral located at 5th Ave. between 50th and 51st St. Actually, I've gone here twice already, the church is so beautiful inside and out, we had attended mass here on my first visit. There are so many tourists, and I'm one of those who keeps on taking pictures of every corner of the church. Each popular saints have their own corner if you like to light a candle. I'm so happy seeing my favorite saints, St. Therese of the Child Jesus (Lisieux) and St. Jude. I had to make a moment of silence with these saints, for they have been my refuge also when the storm came. Made a special Prayer of Good Health for my dear friend Jen. And of course, prayed for myself...for healing...for acceptance...letting go...and moving on. And Prayer of Thanksgiving to God and Jesus Christ for keeping me strong, for giving me a chance to enjoy life despite of the pain...for making me feel to not lose hope. Lastly, Prayer of Blessings for those people who's been with me at the lowest point of my life. If you are reading this, you are in my prayers :).

Then we checked out the Rockefeller Center. On the way here you can also passby The Philippine Embassy. I've been wanting to see the Rockefeller co'z you always see this in the movies and also Central Park, but I'll check out the latter maybe one of these days. Rockefeller has this skating rink and restaurants around the rink, we ate there btw had a sumptous lunch. The ground level of Rockefeller houses lots of nice shops like Godiva Chocolate, oh this chocolate is so yummy! You can also see here the NBC Studio, one of the biggest TV network here in NY. I can't wait to visit Rockefeller again on Nov28, yeah I marked this date on my calendar co'z it's the lighting of the biggest Christmas Tree and they said in the news this is the biggest tree ever in the history of NY! So I'm pretty excited about this.:)

I also had a chance to see The Chinatown in NY, we had lunch at Hap Kee, well nothing so amusing about this resto it's just that it's a chinese resto that most pinoys here crave about. Yeah, the food is great and you can see pinoys dining and they said even the chinese who works here understands and speak tagalog so pretty homey for the pinoys. The Chinatown looks like hongkong, you see a lot of chinese, tiangges and chinese restos and stuffs. Just like in Greenhills they sell fake items from bags, sunglasses, clothes etc. I miss Greenhills in an instant!

After Chinatown we went back to Rockefeller Center to meet Ate's friends, then we walked a couple of more blocks looking for the Serendipity Restaurant. Actually, I can't remember exactly where we turned but walking along the streets going to this spot is pretty enjoying co'z you can passby typical Manhattan apartments and houses which again we often see in the movies. The restaurant is pretty small for a two storey resto, and people come and go and you have to really wait for you to be seated co'z this place is pretty busy during dinnertime so the waiting list is kinda long. Good thing me, Ate and her friends got there a little pretty early for dinner so we just waited for a few mins for our table. Me and Gerry (Ate's friend) got pretty excited to find the exact table where John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale had their dinner in the movie "Serendipity". I feel nostalgic actually, remembering the scene and all. But I thought this is the best thing about this place, but when we tried their dessert, oh wow! heaven! They are really famous for their "Frozen Hot Chocolate" and mind you I haven't tasted a hot chocolate like this one in my entire life until I tried this and sooo thankful I did, make sure you try this before you die hahaha!:P Try also their "Forbidden Broadway Sundae", their sundaes are big for one person and the taste is really something. I know, I know stop with the mouth watering desserts bragging.:P After Serendipity, we just walked and walked until we see Bloomingdale's store, one side of Central Park and the Apple Mac Center.

There's more to see in New York and sights to visit, I'm taking my time and soon I'll start visiting other states and spend time with dear friends. 'Til my next tours :)....

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I'm between Wowie and Marie

Before posting my delayed posts, I just have to greet the following friends whom I totally forgot to greet?! So sorry dears...bawi ako next time :)



Happy Birthday and more happy and healthy years to come!!!



Marie Muñoz
Wowie and Raffy Seares

God bless all of you more!

I love you sisters!!! Miss you!!!

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Last Oct6, I met up with my two best friends in high school (btw, I have a lots of best friends way back then). Zen who is a New Yorker and Bhit from Pennsylvania, they were both immigrants here more than a decade ago, unno typical teenagers then who had to leave pinas co'z they were petitioned by their parents. But the distance was never an issue to continue our friendship, often write to each other via postal mail then up to the existence of e-mails. Whenever they go and visit pinas we always hang out. And now it's their turn to tour me in their home...yeah they now call this land their home...probably live the rest of their lives here...ako kaya?hmmm, to early to tell :P

After my first subway train ride, I met with Zen first, co'z Bhit and Raquel (Joey's wife-my friend in pinas too) will meet us later that afternoon. Zen promised me to tour the Statue of Liberty and some places here in Manhattan. Kakahiya I'm more than an hr late?! I forgot to adjust the time zone ng cellphone ko so nde ako nagising ng maaga?! anyway, finally saw Zen na and sorry ako ng sorry hehehe! He's really nice naman at nde naasar sa kin hehehe! so ayun lakad lakad kami sa Times Square, kwentuhan while walking then make a few stops for picture taking. Pinakita nya yung Broadway then have to ride the subway to go to The World Trade Center co'z malayo pag nilakad from Times Square. Dissapointing ang WTC, kse nga wala na sya so all you can see is the contruction going on and they just put a memorial site for tourist to see on what will happen to Ground Zero pag natapos na. After that we walked a few blocks going to the Battery Park, andito kse yung docking area nun ferry going to Liberty Island and Perris Island. Grabeh ang daming tourists?! ang haba ng pila! After Zen, paid the $12 fee pumila kami for more than 1hr to ride the ferry! ang init pa naman nun araw na yun. At least while falling in line dami kmi napagkwentuhan ni Zen and catching up sa mga bali-balita sa pinas and You-Know-Who. Then picture taking with Liberty wanabes statue na kailangan mo palang magbigay ng dollar to pose with them, so nakipose kami, buti na lang generous tong si Zen for shouldering all the expenses :P. Finally ayan na on board na kmi sa Circle Line Ferry, but you have to passby security check again parang sa airport removing your belts and bags for xray check. I can see Liberty now, kumakaway na sya!:P Kala ko super laki sya, I mean parang ang taas taas kse nya sa mga pictures but when you reached the foot of the pillar not that high naman pla mukha syang malaki kse nakapatong pa sya. I did not bother to climb up na co'z same sight din naman makikita mo from there, we just took lots of pix, she as our background then lakad lakad enjoying the sight from this Island seeing Manhattan's skyscrapers and New Jersey on the other side. I can say, you've never been to NY, if you failed to see Liberty :). We had our lunch here burgers lang and fries then I just bought a key chain, ref magnet and liberty snow globe. Hindi na kmi bumaba sa Perris Island, I don't know what to see there pero sabi nila parang museum, I'm not really into museums so sabi ko kay Zen pass na lang maybe visit that some other time.

We return to Manhattan to meet up with Raquel, she's waiting at the Manhattan Mall then we had some snack while waiting for Bhit. Ayun finally complete na kami! Since nasa Empire State Bldg. na kami we decided to check it out. Teritoryo to ni Zen since this is where he's working, so me discount sya. Mahal din ha! $15 each to go to the viewdeck! Zen treated us all bale $9 each na lang co'z of his tenant discount, buti na lang. Dami din tourist, but the view here is really something, though sabi nila mas maganda daw talaga view from the Twin Towers, oh well, since Empire is the tallest bldg now after WTC was gone so no choice. Sandali lang kami, just took some shots and ayun tinuturo nila Zen and Bhit which part is downtown or uptown Manhattan then you can see New Jersey din from this angle, nakita ko na naman ang Central Park, which btw I have been there but just saw a bit of it maybe one of these days lilibutin ko yun esp now its fall season maganda ang colors ng mga trees.

After Empire State, we just stroll at 5th Ave. to see Macy's, and check out the shops. Bhit is bugging me to shop?! o nga naman we used to do this way back in pinas as our girl bonding thing when we were teens but this time Bhit wants to pay for it, hala ang generous ng mga friends ko ah! Awa siguro sila sa kin for what had happened to me and try to cheer me up by shopping hehehe! We checked out Gap and Banana Rep, one thing I noticed it's hard for me to find my size here?! ang laki ng small and even yung XS! You just have to really search hard, though good thing about these shops and other shops here they have the Petite Section but still not all styles have my size. Well, finally at Gap, Bhit got me this long sleeved orange striped shirt for fall and a maroon long sleeved shirt, buti fit naman hehehe! Thanks soooo much for a welcome gift! So sweet and generous of you Bhit!:)

At dinner time, we're supposed to eat at Olive Garden, kaso grabeh ang waiting time, so instead the group decided to check Applebee's, galit ata sa pera tong si Bhit at nag offer na naman na treat nya!:P oh well, tuwang-tuwa naman si Zen and Raquel. Ang laki ng servings, I had steak naku tataba talaga ako dito sa NY! and their dessert, wow to die for! Just forgot ang name eh pero it's a cake a very moist chocolate cake na mainit pa talaga ung filling ang saraaaaap! the best chocolate cake I've ever tasted! Super busog ako grabeh!:) And tired kalalakad the whole day but I had fun, the sights, the shops, the food and friends who keep me company for my first Manhattan tour. Thank you Bhit, Zen and Raquel for spending this day with mwah!:)

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Today marks my first month in this City...nothing much, just seen a few sights here and there and spend most of my time at home busying myself with a lot of stuffs. Then finally was able to make this blogsite running for you guys to read and update all of you what's been happening to me here. Sorry! still no attempt of being suicidal if that's what you're thinking...it's just not me...totally out of my core...kahit ilang beses pa siguro madurog ang puso ko there's no way I'll do that....but it's hard....I'm having a hard time moving on...I know...I know...I should stick to my stubborn mind na I HAVE TO MOVE ON...eto na nga I took the first step...actually nde nga lang steps eh...I fly away! miles away to move on....hope healing will take place soon...

hayyy! One month away from home....I miss pinas really...the smogs...the traffic...ingay ng tao at sasakyan...it's just too quiet in here, I mean in this neighborhood there are times ako lang mag-isa naglalakad sa daan while I'm walking the dogs. Iba sa pinas, maingay kse siguro sanay lang ako sa maingay na environment. Kaya I love it whenever we go to Manhattan, dun kse normal, dami tao, traffic, dami shops everything you need andun and New Yorkers esp in this part of the city eh stylish sila magdamit, you can really tell they work here though there are some naman na parang nakapambahay lang jogging pants and all :P...I'm taking my time to explore this city since I have five months to go to figure out what's my next move and plan my life whether to stay here for good or be back in manila. Honestly, I'm really scared, scared what's for me here...if there's any what is it? I miss pinas...but there are a lot of things I don't want to see there co'z of the pain...but I miss my family...my friends. Life isn't really fair.

Anyway, on a happy note...wish me a One Monthsary in the Big Apple and here's for more subway trips, bus rides, walking the dogs, reading books and soon busying myself in a workplace...God is always good :)

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My first subway train ride was on Oct 6, when I met up with my friends in Times Square. Ate of course taught me how to ride the bus, the stops and the exact station where will I ride the train goin to Times Sqaure station. Grabeh! nde man lang natakot si Ate na papuntahin ako ng Manhattan mag-isa noh! she just drop me off sa Main Ave. station in Flushing then on my own na. First to do is purchase a MTA card, just like our MTA card pero ito kse refillable. The card machine is touch screen ha cool! I bought yung 6 rides kse free yung isa for $10, the good thing sa MTR card is you can also use this sa bus, swipe system din kse ang bus dito parang free na ang bus ride when you purchase this card. Then after this swipe ko na yung card ko, but I still asked an old american guy if this is the way to 7 train going to Times Square naniguro lang hehehe! mga 21 stations lang naman bago umabot ng Times Square and madali lng kse last stop sya. Naku nakakalito na pagbaba ko ng train co'z dami arrows kung san ka lalabas, I just followed the flow of traffic ng mga kano. You don't need na pla i-swipe ulit yung card upon exit, unlike sa tin swipe mo ulit MTA card to exit dito nde na just pass lang. Since underground station sya mainit! and medyo madumi, dami vandals, luma na din kse sya unlike our MRT pero parang mas worst ang siksikan sa MRT natin! Dito I tried the subway during rush hour pero not as bad sa tin crowded of course pero nde ganun kasiksikan, or siguro lang din I haven't seen the worst yet :P. Anyway, very convenient talaga ang subway and buses dito and the bus stops talagang sinusunod very organized. So far I haven't bumped into rude americans, mahirap kausap dito ang mga nagkalat na chinese and koreans, grabeh talaga they are invading the world! Kahit ata saang sulok ng mundo umuusbong ang lahi nila hahaha!:D Ok next post, Manhattan trip naman :)

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On my first few days here in NY, got a chance to meet up with my Uncle's family whom I have never seen for years and some of whom I just met in person. Got a chance to hang out with my cousins Mich, Jeff and Libby at their place, they have all grown up! To think I'm way way older than them and the last time I saw Mich was in the late 90s and Jeff in 2004 when they visited pinas. Libby hasn't been to pinas though. The setback in bonding with NYC relatives, they keep on asking about You-Know-Who?! I guess we don't have much to talk about so they just keep on asking how's him, where is he, when is he gonna follow here etc.....I've been so consistent with my alibi about him...I'm just not ready for my whole family to know what happened to us...why I'm here....in time...I will and maybe start revealing this to Uncle first, since he's the one who keeps on asking about him every chance he gets...talk about a nosy Uncle!:P


Of course, sooo thankful Ate and Sam are so accomodating to let me stay in their place. I have my own room which btw I so love it with a queen size bed! my own bathroom but it's in the basement though but still I have privacy to use the bathroom as long as I want to and stash my stuffs there without messing their things :P. I can use the wifi internet all day at Ate's study room just beside my bedroom. Hmmm, maybe someday I'll have a laptop of my own to store my files, laptops here are pretty cheaper than back home, have to write that on my list once I get a job here that will pay much hehehe!:P About my bro-in-law Sam, he's really nice, a very transparent person, what you see is what you get, he's a sucker for the internet and his business, you will usually see him tinkering on his website and try to figure out how to customize it on his own :P He will usually ask my opinion if the website is pretty good or crammed up since he knows I'm into customizing my blogs as well (btw, they don't know this site ok, so I can literally gossip about him here hahaha!). I get to practice my english whenever he's around, co'z Ate and I have to speak the universal language so he won't be wondering what we are talking about. It's just that sometimes, I ran out of words to say to him or there are times I totally forgets the english term of some freakin words!:P I know I worked in a call center environment but we don't talk in english all the time, so this is a little different living in an english speaking household. Nah! I'll get used to this I know :) so on my next post tagalog naman ha :) hehehe!

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Ok eto na po ang pinakahihintay nyong kwento about my stay here in NY…the Big Apple…the city that never sleeps as they say. Arrived here on a pretty good sunny sunday of Sep30. But before arriving syempre ma-drama ang alis….hayyyy, had a chance to see my friends T & M before going to NAIA and bid my goodbyes, hugs and kisses to them, mamimiss ko sila sobra and the rest of our barkada. On the way to the airport, I’m feeling sooooo sad! had to conceal it co’z I’m with Tatay, my sister, 2 aunts and a cousin and had to really hide the pain. Before I went inside the airport I hugged them one by one and the last of which is Tita C, I know she felt my sadness co’z she hugged me so tight and whispered that I have to be strong and that she will continue to pray for me…I got teary eyed but made a quick change of expression and had to turn away and proceeded inside the airport. Hayyy that scene ang bigat! Pati ang hand carry ko ang bigat?! grabeh next time remind me not to put my PT reviewer or any big book inside a hand carry bag…parusa! sabay sumiksik pa si Harry Potter, oh well makapal sya eh and had to really put it inside my bag co’z this book and nagaraya nuts kept me company during my whole flight from Mla to NY :P. Ayan na this is it, I’m flying away via Korean Air bound to Seoul,Korea for a stopover before reaching NY. So I also had a chance to take a peek on this country. Sus! not much to see coz sa airport lang stopover lang kse, which btw ang ganda ng airport nila and malaki had to walk a bit far to reach Terminal22 where I will wait for my JFK flight and all I did was sleep at the terminal area while waiting for almost 5hrs to transfer to a new plane. Naku me bloopers pa nga, I forgot 1 hr advance nga pala ang time ng Korea sa Pinas so I thought I’m still an hr early at hindi ako nakikipila sa mga pa-depart ng passengers na kasabay kong tumambay din ng ilang oras dun….ang beauty ko naiwan nakaupo sa terminal and when one guy attendant from Korean Air called my name and seems to be looking for me…naku kinabahan talaga ako yun pala yun na ung flight ko going to JFK Airport, NY?! Buti na lang I’m not the last passenger, me hinihintay pa sila :)….ok so I went inside the plane and look for my window seat…hmmm, hoping gwapong guy katabi ko at nde koreano?! oh well, my bubble burst agad co’z I’m seated with a korean girl who seems to be nice naman so pede na din at least she doesn’t smell bad or anything :P. This plane is much nicer than the previous plane, co’z every seat has its own video monitor to watch videos, listen to music, check the plane’s flight status and it’s all touchscreen cool!:) I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Ocean’s Thirteen then some tinkering with the music selections then if bored na tulog or read my latest Harry book. The Korean Air food ok lang, kse you only have one choice co’z the other dish is Korean na though the flight attendants are really nice and friendly. Masakit lang talaga sa butt ang tagal ng byahe! Imagine almost 24hrs din ako bumiyahe co’z me lay away pa kse ng 5hrs sa Korea.

Finally, the captain announced we’re in New York! check agad ang window to see the plane’s view…hmmm, parang puro fields ah wala ako makitang sign of the city…ah most likely nsa countryside pa kmi….after a few moments ayun na I can see some buildings and took some shots. Hayyyy, I really can’t believe I’m landing na in the land of milk and honey sabi nila. One final stop is the immigration…the line to the immigration medyo nakakakaba co’z they said it’s like being interviewed at the US Embassy in Manila…hmmm, mukha nga but I see naman the officers are friendly and smiling…at the back of my mind I’m hoping dun ako sa guy mapunta co’z he seems to be nice…hehehe! God is soooo good dun nga nya ko pinatayo sa guy that I’m hoping…he smiled and ask for my passport then ask a few questions where will I stay, who I’m gonna stay with and til when will I gonna stay here. When I told him I’ll probably stay til the holidays he gets excited and told me to visit Rockefeller and see the big xmas tree and after a while he stamped 6mos stay on my passport, my heart made a big smile then he told me enjoy my stay here in the US That was a breeze! Then wait ko na lang luggage ko then called Ate to pick me up. Me nakachikahan pa kong filipina din going to New Jersey naman sya and we chatted while waiting sa mga sundo namin. We exchange numbers and all and nauna syang sinundo then it took me a couple more minutes bago dumating sila Ate. The moment ate went out of the car she gave me a teddy bear bearing “Someone from Whitestone Loves You” then hugged me tight and cried so hard telling me I’m sooo skinny. Oh! I’m getting used to this scene, teary eyed na lang ako I guess pagod na din ako umiyak esp in front of my family and friends. I’m tired, just damn tired of the trip…the things that happened in Manila….the emotional roller coaster ride I went through….just felt good I’m here in New York…I know it will take time…God will allow me to heal…He has a special plan for me….and I’m excited to discover that in due time….

Ok so wait for my next post about exploring New York and its nearby states!

Tina here reporting from New York!:)

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